


And In The End (I’d Do It All Again)

by crabbiekat



Series: The S.A.G.A. Saga [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff, High School AU, LGBT club, Multi, Nobody dies and everyone is gay, Slow Burn, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-03 15:46:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11535366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crabbiekat/pseuds/crabbiekat
Summary: For Jeremy it started with a little sign in the hallway with the words "S.A.G.A. Sexuality and Gender Alliance." It began as just a way to see if he even had a chance with the girl of his dreams. It started with a half truth, a little lie, a minor miscommunication.It ended with so much more.In which nobody dies, Jeremy is forever questioning everything, Michael has always been gay, Rich is everyone's favorite short stack of pancakes, Jake is not attracted to cookware, Christine has no chill when it comes to the gay agenda, Evan is still an anxious wreck, Jared gets threatened with violence (at least twice), JD discovers the magic of friendship, and Alana somehow manages to productively run a high school gay club without adult supervision.Oh and Connor wears skirts. Usually on Wednesdays and full moons.





	1. Stuck in the Jet Wash

 

Jeremy only noticed the small pink sign, because Christine Caligula, the most beautiful girl in school, was the person hanging it up. His gaze lingered on her as she finished taping it to the wall and then cheerfully walked away, arms full of similar posters and fliers. He glanced quickly up at the sign as he hurried through the dangerous hall and nearly tripped over his shoelaces after reading the first line

GAY? BISEXUAL? ASEXUAL? TRANSGENDER? QUESTIONING? JUST AN ALLY?  
JOIN S.A.G.A. (Sexuality and Gender Alliance)  
3 PM WEDNESDAYS ROOM 113

Jeremy gawked at the poster. A gay club? Here? And Christine was in it?

He didn't stare too long, quickly shuffling away nervously. Jeremy didn't have any problem with being gay. He had an aunt who was gay, or at least he thought he did? And well, there was that one time he got off to gay porn, but he got off to a lot of stuff and it was one time! Okay maybe more than one time, but that didn't mean anything! He liked girls! He liked Christine and she was a girl! So he wasn't gay!

Jeremey internally argued his minor homosexual crisis with himself for the rest of the gay- day, until lunch time. He was poking at the semi-edible pizza and vegetables when Michael finally decided to join him.

"Dude you won't believe this kid who I met at the Seven Eleven," Michael said excitably, rummaging through his bag of snacks. Jeremy's lack of an immediate response drew Michael's attention instantly.  "Dude, what's up? Sometime happen with Christine or your dad?"

"No!" Jeremy jumped nervously as Michael lifted a curious eyebrow at him. "No just, did you see the posters for the new club hanging up around the school?"

"New club?" Michael replied munching on his sushi roll and looking at Jeremey quizzically.

"The new club," Jeremy whispered leaning in close, glancing around at the empty table as if the whole cafeteria was listening.

"You know, the gay club."

Jeremy watch in brief confusion as Michael's face fell a little but then immediately regained its neutral composure.

"Oh, yeah. I saw that." Michael shrugged nonchalantly and plopped another sushi roll into his mouth. "What's got you so hung up about it?"

Jeremy fidgeted and didn't meet Michael’s eyes.

"Christine was hanging up posters for it. She must be in it."

That grabbed Michael's attention and he smiled at Jeremy sympathetically. Michael had been Jeremy’s best friend since they were in kindergarten. The two of them told each other everything, so of course Michael knew about Jeremy’s budding desperate crush on Christine.

"Dude, don't worry about it. She could be like, bisexual or maybe just an ally. Or maybe she's not even in the club and just being a nice person, like usual."

Jeremy sighed. Maybe Michael was right, like he far too often tended to be about life and high school.

"Yeah, hopefully."

* * *

 

 _This is a bad idea_ , Jeremy thought to himself as he stood outside room 113 at 3:00.

_The worst most awful, most stupid idea ever._

He stood there for a moment, contemplating the door and his life choices, when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

 **Player 2:** dude where are you? You were supposed to ride my bus today and hang?

 _Shit_. He had been so wrapped up in Christine he had forgotten that he was supposed to hang out with Michael today. And he couldn't just tell Michael he had decided to ditch him to go to the gay club just to make sure Christine wasn't in it or at least wasn't gay. And that if she was in the club, being here would give him a chance to talk to her! But he was sure Michael would understand.

 **Player One:** sorry forgot decided to walk home. Maybe tomorrow?

 **Player 2** : np dude! See you tomorrow!

Well, he had to go in now. Taking one last deep breath, he pushed open the classroom door.

And was greeted by several people shouting.

"You can't be president you're only a freshman!," screeched Rich Goranski, who was standing on a desk and had his face far too close to a taller girl with braided hair in front of him.

"I am the one who talked Superintendent Richards and Miss Fleming into starting the club in the first place!," The girl argued back, shoving her face even closer to Rich's "Of course I get to be the president!"

"Uh guys."

Everyone's head turned to Christine, sitting beautifully patient in the desk next to Rich.

"There's someone here."

All eyes were suddenly on Jeremy and he had the urge to immediately run out the door, transfer schools, and change his name to Jerry Theere.

He took a step backward but couldn't get away as Rich literally fell off his desk and ran over to Jeremy.

"Jeremy Heere! Here! At the gay club! Dude holy shit, I knew you were gay! I called it! Fuck yeah!" His arms wrapped around Jeremy and squeezed and Jeremy was struggling to breath as Rich managed to lift him two inches off the floor.

"Rich put him down!" The unfamiliar girl snapped. "You're strangling him and scaring him! And watch your language! _And_ do not call S.A.G.A the "gay club"! We are so much more than that!"

Rich dropped Jeremy who nearly fell over in shock.

"Rich," he gasped, trying to make sense of the situation. "You're.... in this club?"

"Yup," Rich said proudly, puffing out his chest and placing a hand on Jeremy's back. "I'm bi, dude! And you got to back me up here, Alana think she can run this place, but I say, I can do it ten times better than she can!"

"Uhhhhhhh," Jeremy just stared at Rich and the girls, clearly lost and regretting everything. He'd never expected Rich, of all people, to be so openly gay, or well bi, and friendly.

"Didn't you used to like, make fun of gay people? And call me tall ass. And steal my homework. And I'm pretty sure you wrote some, uh, homophobic stuff on my backpack before...." His voice kinda trailed off as Rich's hand dropped from Jeremy's back.

"Yeah," Rich said stepping away from Jeremy and looking pretty down. "I did, I just, wasn't in the best mindset. I had some shit going on and that's not an excuse for taking it out on other people. I'm sorry."

Rich smiled awkwardly.

"But I'm trying to get better, which is why I'm here and all! And why I should be president!"

Behind him, Alana sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose right in front of her thickly framed glasses.

"Do you know the first thing about running a club? Or LGBT rights?"

Rich looked around awkwardly.

"Uhhhhh."

"Exactly," Alana said, taking her seat next to Rich's empty one.  "Oh, and it's nice to meet you Jeremy. I'm Alana Beck. I'm a freshman, a lesbian, and I use she/her pronouns."

Jeremy stood there, overwhelmed and anxious, for nearly thirty seconds, before he realized Alana was waiting for his reply.

_What do I say what do I say I can't say I'm gay and I don't want to lie what have you done Christine is looking at me oh god Jeremy oh god-_

"I- I'm Jeremy," He finally stammered out, sweat beading up on his neck. "I'm a guy? And I'm a sophomore. And I guess, I'm not to sure, about the sexuality part. Which is why I'm here."

He hastily added the last part in a splurge or words, trying to keep from showing how sweaty he was. Alana just smiled brightly at him.

"Don't worry about that! Questioning your sexuality is normal and healthy and we'll help you as much as we can. This is a safe space to talk about sexuality, gender, and the struggles and experiences those of us who do not fit into a cisgender, heterosexual lifestyle have."

"Okay, okay," Rich grumbled, admitting defeat and taking his seat between Christine and Alana. "But I call Vice President!"

"I like the sound of that," Christine agreed. "Is it cool with everyone if I get to play secretary? I'm good at managing things!"

"Alright," Alana agreed. She turned to Jeremy. "Jeremy would you like to be our treasurer? I'm not sure if we will need one, and we can always hold the position until we get more members, but if you are interested?"

Jeremy glanced at Christine who was smiling up at him, beautifully and passionately. Oh god how could he say no to that face.

"You should do it," she said to him smiling. "This is going to be so much fun!"

"Uh sure," Jeremy agreed awkwardly, wiping his sweaty hands on his pants and sitting down in the desk next to Christine. "Okay, yeah, I'm, I'm cool with that."

"Okay!" Alana said proudly, scribbling down something onto a piece of paper in front of her. "I guess this is everyone we will be having today. Has everyone introduced themselves?"

Christine raised her hand excitably, waving it a little too close to Jeremy's face.

"Oh! Oh! I haven't!"

Alana gestured for Christine to continue.

"My name is Christine Canigula. I'm a sophomore. I identify as a girl and use she/her pronouns. And I am aromantic and asexual."

_Wait._

_What?_

"What?"

Jeremy maybe said that a little too loudly, because suddenly three pairs of eyes were on him.

"I just-" Jeremy looked away, stammering. "W-what does that mean?"

"Oh!" Christine said smiling widely and brightly. "It just means I don't experience sexual or romantic attraction. I have no desire to be with anyone like that, and I personally don't really want to."

_Oh god._

_Oh god Jeremy what have you done._

"That's- uh,” Jeremy could feel the nervous sweat raining down his back and neck.

“Cool? I've just never, heard of it, before?"

_Nice save, but you still fucked up. Oh god you're the treasurer now you really fucked up. You're stuck in this gay club and you will never have a chance with Christine._

"Oh that's because it's not as common as most other sexualities, but it is completely valid and okay!"

"Precisely!" agreed Alana. "Alright, now that that's done. I guess we can begin talking about LGBT inclusion and acceptance in this school and how everyone feels about that."

Jeremy sat quietly for most of the rest of the hour, trying not to be a nervous wreck and letting Christine, Rich, and Alana lead the discussion and agreeing with one of them when asked for his opinion. He could tell Christine was very enthusiastic about LGBT rights, and also that she was now completely unobtainable. Which was a major, gigantic bummer. But despite that, it wasn't so bad? Everyone there seemed nice, understanding, and cool with Jeremy, even Rich who Jeremy still wasn't too sure about. By the end of it, Jeremy wasn't exactly feeling good, considering he had just gotten his heart broken, but he wasn't feeling too bad either.

After they had ended, Jeremy found himself walking home with Christine, who lived only a few blocks over from him.

"I know it's a bit overwhelming," she rambled as they walked. "The LGBT community can be a bit over the top, but that's because we have so much pride and love in us, and the rest of the world just doesn't understand."

"Yeah," Jeremy agreed, looking at his feet as he walked, still a bit shocked about how today went.

"But I'm glad you came out today Jeremy," Christine continued cheerfully. "I didn't know if we would get anyone to be honest. I figured, again, it can be a bit overwhelming and I know for some people it's so hard to be out, even nowadays with the gay marriage laws and anti-bullying and everything. But you showed up and that's amazing! And even though you aren't sure what you identify as, it's so brave of you to even understand that you don't have to go through figuring it all out alone!"

Jeremy bit his lip a little too hard and choked out a response.

"Right."

They reached an intersection and Christine turned. She smiled up at him and Jeremy felt the butterflies hatch in his stomach and then get eaten by a giant painful eagle of knowledge and regret.

"Well, I've gotta go this way to get home,” Christine said.

“I guess I'll see you tomorrow in school and next week of course!"

"Right," Jeremy gave a little wave as she began to walk away. "See you."

He stood there as she rounded the corner and walked out of sight. He stood there, still in shock, covered in sweat, and strangely weirdly okay with it all.

_Jeremy Heere what have you done?_


	2. Bit Off More Than I Could Chew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy starts making friends and S.A.G.A gets another member.

Jeremy wasn't sure how to approach the topic of joining S.A.G.A with Michael. Sure he and Michael had been best friends since as long as Jeremy could physically remember, but there was something that didn't rub him right about telling Michael he had joined the school's gay, no, LGBT club, in order to try and get with the girl of his dreams, who, turns out, was asexual. He was sure Michael wouldn't judge him, or at least he would, but not harshly, and just make some well meant remark about how there are plenty of fish in the sea. But still, Jeremy didn't exactly plan on quitting the club now that Christine fell through. He had agreed to be their treasurer, and it wasn't like he had many friends outside of Michael.

He figured he could just keep the two things separate, just for now, until he figured out how to explain the situation to Michael without Michael either thinking Jeremy is gay or thinking Jeremy is the biggest loser in all of history.

Rich, however didn't share in those plans.

"Hey Jeremy!" Rich said bounding up to Jeremy as he was fishing his books from his locker. Jeremy let out a small noise of surprise and jumped as Rich smiled up at him.

"Dude, I wanted to know if I could get your number? You know, if you want to talk feelings or hang out with me outside the club!"

Jeremy recoiled back, looking around to see if anyone had noticed. Luckily all of the passing students were either too busy with their own conversations or too focused on getting to class to notice Rich and Jeremy talking.

"I-I I don't know?"

Rich looked up at Jeremy quizzically and Jeremy could feel the panic rising in him. "You okay man?"

"I-I just-" _shit what do I say?_

"I'm not, comfortable, just yet. Like not even Michael knows and I- I don't-"

"Don't want to be seen with the queer kids," Rich finished for him, his face sobering and falling. "I understand man, it's easier being in the closet sometimes."

Jeremy sighed in relief. Maybe he could keep this charade up for a little while longer. But he couldn't help but feel bad for how disappointed Rich looked.

"I-I can still give you my number," he said quickly, instantly regretting what he said but rolling with it anyway. "You can give it to Christine and Alana too! Just, like, not during school, not yet, just, give me time please."

Rich's face brightened again and he hastily pulled out his phone and handed to Jeremy. "Sure thing man! Here, put it in and I'll text you during class!"

Jeremy gave a half-hearted smile and put his number in Rich's contacts as Rich continued.

"And if you are worried about Michael, don't be. I thought the two of you were gay for each other for the longest time. I'm pretty sure if you two are as tight as everyone thinks, then he should be completely accepting of you no matter who you like!"  
Jeremy wasn't too sure about that.

_But I like girls and Michael knows this and will just realize I'm an asshole when he finds out all this._

"Yeah, okay man," Jeremy ended up saying handing Rich's phone back to him. He glanced around again, but no one was paying any attention. Still, he could feel his palms sweat and shake as Rich took the phone back and smiled at Jeremy.

"Cool thanks! See you on Thursday?" Rich asked as he began to walk away. Jeremy screamed internally.

"Yep see you then," Jeremy managed to get out as Rich left. He quickly went back to collecting his books from his locker just as Michael rolled up.

"Dude did I just see you talking to Rich?" He asked, confused as hell as he pulled his headphones down around his neck.

_Shit. SHIT!_

"Uh yeah," Jeremy shrugged trying to play it cool, and failing. He felt his face starting to go red and he was sure he was visibly sweating now.

"Did he say something to you?"

"Uh well," Jeremy stammered. "He just apologized."

Michael looked at Jeremy in shock and confusion. "Apologized?"

"Yeah," Jeremy continued a bit more confidently. "For like, being a bully last year to me and stuff. I guess, he figured out that wasn't cool and felt bad about it. He also said he was in that LGBT club and wanted to try and get me to join."

Jeremy realized after he said it, that he had messed up and called SAGA the LGBT club instead of just the gay club. He hoped Michael hadn't noticed and that there was some other reason why Michael's jaw was hanging open a little in clear shock.

"Dude, no way. Are you gonna do it?"

"Do what?" Jeremy asked, confused and nervous as all hell.

"Join the LGBT club!"

"Oh uhm," Jeremy tried not to look Michael in the eyes. He could come clean, right now and just tell Michael how he got roped into being the club’s treasurer already and Michael would just laugh it off and coach him on how to get out of it and on how to avoid shitty social situations because that was who Michael was. Michael would understand. Right?

"I don't think so? I mean, I'm not gay why should I?" Jeremy winched at the lie, one of many he had told in the past two days. Michael just seemed to nod understandable.

"Makes sense. Well, at least it's nice he apologized."

"Yeah," Jeremy rubbed the back of his head, feeling the beads of sweat gathering there. "We better get to class before the bell rings."

"Ew class," Michael said with disgust. "So we still on for gaming at my place tonight?"

Jeremy smiled and the two launched into a conversation about the new video games Michael had gotten at a local yard sale. And just like that things fell back into place.

**Unknown:** hey this is Rich add me as BiBiBi in your phone or we are no longer friends

**Unknown:** hey Jeremy! Rich gave me your number! Oh it's Christine btw ヾ(＾∇＾)

**Unknown:** hi Jeremy. It's Alana from SAGA. Rich gave me your number. If you ever want to talk to someone, just know that I am here.

**Player One was added to SAGAYYYYY**

**BiBiBi:** Hey guys I added Jeremy! Say hi Jeremy.

**Player One:** hi?

**Christine:** Hi Jeremy ヾ(＾∇＾)

**Alana:** Hello Jeremy! And please back me up on why we should change the name of this group chat to something a bit more formal and correct.

**BiBiBi** : LANA CMON! besides when u say it out loud it sounds like u r saying SAKE! Like Hanzo in OW!!

**Player One:** yeah as much as I like overwatch I don't really like having a group in my texts with the word gay on it

**Alana:** see! And don't worry Jeremy Rich already told us about you being closeted. You are still discovering where you fit in the LGBT+ community and it is natural and completely fine to be cautious about who you entrust with your sexual information

**BiBiBi:** why do you have to call it sexual information lana?

**Alana:** I am trying to be politically correct and accurate in my statements Rich.

**BiBiBi:** Lana I love you in the most platonic way possible but gurl you try to hard

**BiBiBi:** it's like, chill Lana

**Christine:** don't listen to him Alana, he's just jealous because he can't hold his cool around Jake

**Player One:** Rich likes Jake Dillinger?

**BiBiBi:** thanks Christine, now I have to flee the country. Change my name to Mitch Gircoski and start a new life as a male strip model

**Alana:** TBH I'd pay to see you strip Rich

**Christine:** hard same ⌒°(❛ᴗ❛)°⌒

**Player One:** uh please no

**BiBiBi changed the group name to: Make it Rain for Rich**

**Player One:** please stop

For the next week, things continued as close to normal as they could. He would mute the group chat around Michael, and would occasionally wave to Christine, Rich, and Alana in the hallway when he walked by them alone. For the most part, he figured he was doing a good job of "being in the closet" as Rich liked to put it. But the group chat that he had been added too was surprisingly, fun? Rich was actually pretty funny and Jeremy felt himself warming up to even some of his more cruder jokes. He had also learned that Rich had a crush on his closest friend Jake Dillinger, who according to Rich was part of of the club but due to some modeling gigs secheduled months ago, would not be attending for some while. And to quote Rich “Until he finally decides to join us in our gay hole of memes and social justice, he is not allowed in the group chat.”

Jeremy also found himself warming up to Christine and quickly realized that despite his still very real crush on her and the fact that she is one of the nicest, sweetest, most understanding and enthusiastic people in the world, they had virtually nothing in common. Christine liked plays and musicals and had no interest in or passion for video games other than Pokémon and minecraft. Jeremy had no interest in acting of any kind and usually found plays to be boring, though he did enjoy some of the musical songs Christine had sent him. Still, she was nice enough to understand their differences and Jeremy felt a little bad lying to her. Alana too, who did nothing but educate Jeremy on sexuality, gender, and LGBT rights since he joined. He had nothing against the LGBT community, it was just he wasn't sure he fit in it. He knew he was attracted to girls, but guys? He’d never been attracted to any guys before, at least, not that he knew of. He figured he would just use the confused label for a while and then eventually just admit that though he wasn't sure, he is pretty sure he’s 100% straight but a devoted ally to to the LGBT community. Thursday eventually came around and Jeremy found himself rather excited to get to see everyone after school.

As 3:00 hit Jeremy was laughing slightly along with Christine in room 113 to Rich trying to make Alana understand memes.

"No it's like, lemon water is gay culture, or the Babadook is gay culture."

Alana looked so confused that Jeremy couldn't help but chuckle. "I just- I don't understand how that is connected?"

That chuckle quickly turned into outright laughter when Christine actually snorted. Rich was starting to turn red in the face and Alana looked like she was about to throw her neatly organized papers and notes into the air and punch Rich.

"BUT YOU GET VORE JOKES!"

"VORE JOKES MAKE SENSE!"

"Uh- am I in the right place?"

The moment was broken by an unfamiliar yet familiar voice, and everyone's heads turned to the door. Jeremy had been so focused on Alana and Rich, he hadn't heard it open. His eyes widened and he swore his heart stopped beating in his chest.

"M-Michael?"

Michael stood in the doorway, eyes wide and staring at Jeremy. Nobody spoke, the room was dead silent, and Jeremy thought for a second, time had somehow actually frozen. He could feel the ground open up beneath him, feel every drop of sweat begin to bead up on his reddening face. He swore that he was going to die right here, under Michael’s shocked and confused gaze. And then Rich opened his mouth and said,

"Well fuck, hey Michael, this shit is probably awkward."

Alana muttered a “language” at Rich as Jeremy admitted defeat and gave into death’s cold sweat embrace. Michael blinked twice, glanced around the room, and visibly relaxed a little.

"Uh hey, Rich," he said awkwardly before turning back to Jeremy. "Hey, Jeremy. So I uh, guess you did end up joining as well, huh?"

"Oh yes," Alana said cheerfully, collecting herself before Jeremy could even move, "I see you’re familiar with our treasurer Jeremy and Rich, our Vice President. That is Christine our Secretary and I'm Alana Beck, club president. Lesbian, freshman, she/her pronouns."

Michael's mouth dropped another two inches as Jeremy’s heart plummeted another thirty feet. Michael just continue to be confused and he looked wildly around the room. "Treasurer?!"

Jeremy sunk into his seat, his face burying into his hands. He knew his face had to be bright red and his palms were sticky and sweaty. He felt someone place a cool, delicate hand on his arm and looked between his fingers to see Christine looking at him with a face full of concern.

"Alana-" Rich tried to say, but Alana didn't hear him or was too excited to notice.

"Oh yes, he was our first official member after Rich, Christine, and I founded the club. I'm sorry, but if you wanted to run you should have been here last week as all positions are currently filled."

Michael stood there in shock and Jeremy could barely look at him. He felt like he was going to be sick. Like he was going to actually throw up in front of Christine and Michael and everyone.

"S-so you're gay then?" Michael asked. Jeremy's head popped up from between his hands and he visibly shook as he shouted.

"N-No! I mean! I don't know what I am! I'm questioning! I like girls but I might like boys too so I don't know!"

Michael said nothing and Jeremy thought for a second he was going to yell at Jeremy. Michael wa going to realize what a loser Jeremy is and leave and then Christine and Alana and Rich will realize that Jeremy is an asshole and a liar and leave as well and Jeremy will have no friends and just die alone, a virgin and an asshole.

"It's okay dude. I'm uh, I'm gay."

Jeremy heard Rich gasp very loudly next to him and watched as his hand flew to his heart. But Jeremey did not process it. He couldn't process anything, especially the words that came out of Michael’s mouth.

"You're gay?"

Michael shuffled awkwardly. "Uh yeah."

Jeremy blinked but still continued to stare in shock. "Since when?"

"Since like, I don't know, a couple years? Probably forever?"

Jeremy went from shocked to a little hurt.

"You never told me this," he said blankly, trying to think back on this many years of friendship. Michael had never mentioned being gay, and now that Jeremy thought about it, Michael had never mentioned liking any girls either. Michael shrugged.

"It just never came up?"

Jeremy bit his lip. He wanted to ask more, say more, maybe even yell at Michael for not trusting him with such an important detail about himself, but Christine and Alana were looking at them and Rich looked like he was about to pee himself in excitement.

“I-okay man.” Jeremy finally settled on. Michael blinked.

“Okay?”

“Yeah,” Jeremy said, trying to carefully pick the words that came out of his mouth instead of just spewing his frustration and hurt out. He settled on some of the words Alana had texted him earlier in the week. “I wish you had trusted me with this information sooner, because you are my best friend and we tell each other everything. But I guess I can't fault you since I didn’t exactly tell you I was, uh, questioning either. And also as your friend I respect your privacy- and- and the fact that people come out at their own pace and their own time.”

Michael was staring at Jeremy with a face that Jeremy just simply couldn't read. Instead of staring back awkwardly, Jeremy turned to Alana who was beaming at Jeremy.

“That was exactly what friends should say to each other!” She exclaimed breaking the silence.

“And It's exactly what I’ve been saying. We are all part of a bigger LGBT family! And as a family and as friends we need to support and respect one another and the choices we as individuals choose to make regarding our lives and sexualities!”

The room was quiet for a brief second as everyone looked at Alana. Michael stared at her with a blank expression and then turned back to Jeremy.

“So we cool then?”

Jeremy put on his best smile he could muster.

“Yeah, dude, we’re still losers, but we’re okay.”

Michael smiled at Jeremy, that true Michael smile where his eyes get scrunchy and light up with smiles of their own. Michael took a deep breath. “So uh, okay, I’m Michael. I’m a cis-dude so he/him pronouns. I’m a sophomore and I’m Jeremy’s best friend since forever and I’m gay.”

He paused blinked, and then Jeremy watched as a small smile warmed Michael’s face. “I’m gay,” he repeated softly.

“I’m not going to say called it,” Rich said gleefully leaning back in his seat. “But I totally called it. Also I’m bi by the way.”

Rich winked at Michael and Jeremy caught a small blush rising on Michael's face. He kinda didn't want to think about what that blush meant.

“And I’m Christine,” Christine added with an enthusiastic smile. “She/her pronouns and I’m aro/ace. I can explain that to you if you aren't sure what that means!”

“No, no,” Michael said moving backward in response to Christine's contagious excitability. “I know what aro/ace is. And that's cool.”

Jeremy caught the pure smile on Michael’s face and couldn't help but smile along with it.

“Alright then!” Alana said bringing everyone to order. “Michael it you want to grab a seat, last week we talked about the LGBT community in the school and how we can improve on acceptance and representation here, but I think we went too big for our first meeting. So this week, I figured we could talk about LGBT representation in the media. TV shows, movies, books, comics, if you feel there is a significant amount of representation or a significant lack of representation, now is your time to share your opinions, experience with, and ideas on the subject.”

As Michael took a seat next to Jeremy, Rich pounded on his desk roughly.

“YOOOOO STEVEN UNIVERSE! HAS ANYONE SEEN THAT SHOW! IT'S MY SHIT!”

The room immediately broke into a chorus of yells and exclamations of joy from both Christine and Michael as Jeremy looked down at his feet quietly. A knot began to entangle itself in his stomach, but he pushed past it when he saw Michael smile and talk about gay alien rock people.

* * *

After S.A.G.A, Jeremy ended up walking home with Michael. Christine, having read the situation and realized that the two friends need to talk, had opted to just call her dad and get a ride home. The first two blocks were spent in silence, until Jeremy finally couldn't take it anymore and cracked.

“So uh, why didn't you tell me you were gay?”

Michael shrugged, pushing his headphones down and around his neck. Jeremy couldn't hear any music coming from them.

“I don't know”, Michael began. “I guess I figured you would be weird about it. So I just, never told you.”

Jeremy looked away, trying and failing not to fidget with his sweaty hands. He didn't know what to do now. Of course Michael had hid this from him. Just look at what Jeremy was doing. How could he tell Michael now, after everything? Michael would hate him.

“So uh,” Michael shrugged as he walked. “I'm gonna guess you didn't tell me anything for the same reason, huh?”

Jeremy's throat clamped up, but somehow he managed to choke out some sort of confirming noise. Michael nodded in response and Jeremy tried and failed at not feeling bad about lying to him.

“If it's okay,” Michael continued, not looking at Jeremy. “What made you start questioning your sexuality in the first place? I thought you were all hung up on Christine?”

Jeremy cursed himself inwardly and began to panic even more.

“I mean,” he stammered. _Shit what should I say?_

“I mean I was, but like, I guess I saw the poster and stared kinda thinking out it. And- and some other things, things I had been, uh, thinking about for a while now but I wasn't sure, I’m still not sure, and I decided maybe I should at least see what the club is about because maybe they could help me figure it out? And also like, maybe since Christine was in it, she could help me out, or at least talk to me? But she’s aro/ace so I’m not going to- I mean, I respect her and I uh, I’m over her, kinda? I kinda want to just, figure this other stuff out right now, really?”

Jeremy didn't want to look up at Michael and see the disappointment on his face, but he couldn't continue to look away in shame. He glanced up, and was shocked to see Michael smiling at him.

“Dude, that’s fine! Great even! Like, it sucks about Christine, but I’m glad you are figuring it all out and are okay!” He swung his arm around Jeremy and pulled him into a side hug. Jeremy forced a smile, trying to pretend to be happy at Michael’s joy. Instead he just felt that knot again.

“Yeah,” he managed to say with a fake sense of confidence and self assurance. Michael laughed and started going off on something, but Jeremy stopped paying attention. Instead, he focused on walking, and smiling, and pushing down the growing knot of worry and guilt inside of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yay! Michael is in the club now. And Jeremy is making friends!  
> The next chapter will introduce most of the BMC kids, and from there the story will start really going. Hopefully I will have it up in the next week or so but who knows ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	3. As the Crooked Smiles Fade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING FOR HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Jeremy gets a ride, makes some new friends, and plays a game of 50 questions on sexuality (sorta)

After Michael joined SAGA, there were no more boundaries regarding keeping Jeremy’s gay scandal a big secret. Rich and Christine started sitting with Michael and Jeremy during lunch (Alana was in the lunch period before them and also tended to spend lunch in the library). Joining them was Jake Dillinger, Rich’s best friend who insisted he was joining SAGA as soon as he managed the rest of his extracurricular and out of school activities, namely his career as a freaking model.

“My parents signed me up as a child for it,” Jake had explained. “Apparently I was a cute baby. And my agent Roberta, she’s like a second mom to me. She hooks me up with some pretty good gigs and, I don't know, I just stand there and look cool. And I get paid for it, which is the best part.”

Jeremy couldn't help but smirk at the starry eyed look and slight blush that had formed on Rich’s face. He had nudged Michael who had quickly caught on to Rich’s dumb look and had smiled as well.

“Roberta is trying to move my schedule around so that I have time to go to SAGA and maybe some other extracurricular stuff. I don't know, I like trying to find some new things to get into.”

Christine had lit up at that and insisted Jake join play with her, and then insisted everyone join, to which both Michael and Jeremy both politely declined and Rich enthusiastically agreed to.

Things were going, surprisingly well, considering how all this had begun for Jeremy. He actually had more than one friend and had begun actually looking forward to going to school every day. He had also begun looking forward to SAGA on Thursdays. Even though he internally insisted he was straight, and outwardly insisted he was still questioning, he found himself enjoying the discussions and debates they got into regarding sexuality, gender, and, in a couple of cases, the rights of minorities in general. He still hung out with Michael after school and on the weekends, with Rich sometimes joining them.

It was the first week of October and Jeremy had missed the bus because he had to stay after school to finish his history quiz. He was fishing his books out of his locker and had just texted Alana to ask her how her English presentation on gay representation in the media went, when a loud booming voice sent him jumping up in the air in shock.

“HEY SWEETHEART!”

Jeremy flinched and turned to face the two huge jocks bounding towards him. Both of them were wearing lettermen jackets, signifying they were varsity players and had been for some time. The bigger of the two got right up in Jeremy’s face.

“What are you doing here so late after school? Waiting for your boyfriend to come get you?”

Jeremy’s face heated up and he desperately tried to get away, only to back right into the other jock.

“My buddy asked you a question fag,” The other jock spat, smiling cruelly at Jeremy. He placed his hands on Jeremy’s chest, and before Jeremy could get away, shoved him into the floor, hard. Jeremy landed on his left shoulder and felt pain shoot up his arm and neck, letting out a small cry of pain and surprise.

“J-just leave me alone!” Jeremy tried to shout, but it came out more squeaky than he had wanted. The boys laughed at Jeremy’s pitiful sight.

“Aw wow, Kurt, get a load of this fag. He’s gonna cry!”

“What a wimp,” Kurt laughed, grabbing Jeremy’s collar and hoisting him up off the floor.

“You would think this school would have a no fags policy. But instead they let them all get together and party like the sick fucks they are.” He dropped Jeremy and managed to land a solid knee in Jeremy’s gut as he fell. Jeremy could feel the tears forming in his eyes and he tried not to cry. Crying would only make things worse, only give them what they wanted. He needed to run, to grab his stuff and get away, get away, get away.

He reached for his back but received a kick in his back and cried out again from the force and pain of it.

“Wow, this is just sad,” the other jock laughed. “Can’t even fight back like a real man.”

Kurt laughed at his friends joke, placing a foot in the square of Jeremy’s back, pinning him in place. “Yeah, why don't you suck our dicks while you are down there fag!”

“HEY!”

The foot was instantly off Jeremy’s back and Jeremy couldn't help the gasp of desperation and relief that came out of him when it left. He lifted his head off the ground and opened his tear filled eyes, to see Jake and two girls running down the hall at full speed towards him.

“KURT KELLY! RAM SWEENEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?!”

Ram and Kurt backed away from Jeremy as Jake approached. Jeremy had only Jake for less than a month, but the guy always seemed to be smiling. Now that smile was replaced with a look of pure rage and hate.

“Well if it isn't the prince pretty boy himself, Jakey D,” Ram said, his smile and voice laced with malice. “We were just, helping this poor loser up and giving him some pointers on life. You know, doing our civic duty.”

“Really?” Jake said clearly not convinced. “Cause it looked to like to me, that you just beat the shit out of one of my friends.”

Jeremy started to try and gather his things and get away from Ram and Kurt, who were now looking at each other and realizing they picked the wrong loser to gang up on. As he reached for one of his books, the smaller of the two girls, a cute blonde, rushed over to Jeremy’s side.

“Here, don't worry I’ve got it,” she said kindly, and Jeremy recognized her as Brooke Lohst, one of the two most popular girls in his class. Which means the other girl must be Chloe Valentine, Jeremy thought as Brooke helped him get away from Ram and Kurt. Sure enough, as Jeremy got up he recognized the signature brown hair and unique fashion style of the most popular girl in the sophomore class, looking just as equally livid as Jake.

“You know this school has a no-tolerance policy right?” Chloe snapped once Jeremy was safely by her and Jake’s sides. “You could be suspended, or worse, kicked off the football team.”

Jeremy watched the color drain from Ram and Kurt’s faces.

“We didn't do shit Dillinger,” Kurt snapped. “You might think you are such a little golden boy, but it's your word against ours.”

“It’s our word against yours,” Chloe corrected. “Four against two, not including the security cameras who probably caught everything.”

Jeremy looked up through his watery eyes and sure enough, there was the black dome of a security camera right above them. He couldn't help but feel a little joy through the pain at the sheer amount of fear in Ram and Kurt’s eyes.

“We uh, we-” Ram stammered, clearly too shocked or too dumb to form correct words.

“Now guys,” Jake calmly, giving Ram and Kurt a fake smile. “I think we’d be willing to forget this bullshit ever happened, so long as nothing like it ever happened to one of my friends again. Got it?”

Ram and Kurt looked at each other and scowled.

“Fine, Jakey D”, Kurt sneered. “We'll leave you and your boyfriend alone.”

“I thought he liked the short fat fag?” Ram said, clearly confused and Jeremy watched as Jake’s face turned bright red and filled with rage. He took a step forward, but Chloe caught his arm and yanked him back.

“I don’t think your dads would take kindly to using that sort of language boys?” Chloe said in an overly cheery voice. “I myself am rather excited for their wedding next month. Brooke and I will see you there, right?”

Now it was Ram’s turn to surge forward but Kurt held him back.

“Fuck you Valentine you prissy bitch,” Kurt growled, pulling Ram away.

“Let's go to practice Ram, who cares about these losers.” The two jocks turned and left, and as they did, Jeremy watched as Chloe flipped them off as a last fuck you.

“Those sons of bitches,” Jake cursed, before remembering how this mess started and turning towards Jeremy, face full of concern. “Fuck, shit Jeremy, you okay? Fuck man no you’re not. Shit, where did they get you?”

Jeremy flinched as Jake put a hand on his injured arm. He tried to wipe away the tears and snot with his good arm, desperate to not look so pathetic in front of everyone.

“I’m fine. Just fine, they just,” he tried to pull away from Brooke’s hold, but stumbled and nearly fell over from the pain in his back and shoulder. “I just, they-”

“Hey, hey, it's okay,” Brooke said calmly and sweetly, adjusting Jeremy in her grip, which was surprisingly strong for a girl her size.

“You’re strong.” Jeremy said, stupidly, which cause Chloe and Brooke to burst into laughter.

“Well someone has to be able to lift Heather McNamara up when she insists on being the top of the pyramid,” Brooke laughed, and Jeremy looked at her dazed.

“Despite her dense ass,” added Chloe with a roll of her eyes.

“I think the nurse probably left already,” Jake sighed as he looked over Jeremy. “Shit man let me see your arm at least, to make sure it isn't broke or something?”

Too sore and upset to argue, Jeremy let Jake remove his jacket and inspect his arm. He stood there, a sweaty, pain-filled body of embarrassment, discomfort, pitifulness, and hundred other negative emotions and tried to look brave in front of the two girls and Jake.

“What asshats,” Chloe continued to snap viciously. “Seriously, you would think with who their dads are, they would have gotten over that kind of shit. It's the twenty first century douche bags, stop living in the eighties.”

“They’ve always been like that though,” Brooke sighed. “Jenna Rolland’s cousin, Martha Dunstock, gets harassed by them all the time. Like borderline lawsuit harassed they are that awful to her! Martha’s not my friend or the kind of person I would-” she paused for a second “Usually hang out with. But like, they are awful to her and so many other kids.”

“Which is why I never picked up football,” Jake added, giving Jeremy’s arm one last look over. “It's probably just a really bad bruise. If it keeps hurting after I don't know, two days? Go see someone who probably actually knows what they are doing. But for now, a bag of frozen peas or ice should help with that.” He gave Jeremy one of his signature genuine smiles and Jeremy felt his face heat up from embarrassment.

“Thanks Jake,” he hesitantly replied, returning the smile and rolling his shoulder to try and take away the soreness. It didn't and Jeremy tried to hide the small wince by talking. “H-how do you know so much about, like first aid?”

Jake opened his mouth to answer but Chloe beat him too it. “Oh, it's because Rich likes to get himself in fights and Jake is a really good friend.”

The emphasis on the last three words made everything so clear to Jeremy.

“Wait so you and Rich are dating?”

“NO!” Jake shouted, shocking everyone. His face was the same bright red if his designer jacket. Jeremy saw Jake blink twice and then quickly try to return to his normal cool state of being. “No, Rich and I are just like, best friends you know?”

“Oh please,” Chloe smirked playfully. “Jenna Roland told me all about the time Rich came to school with a broken nose and you almost-”

“Jenna Roland doesn't know shit!” Jake snapped, all cool lost to the moment.

“And neither do you Chloe.” And with that Jake turned and quickly and angrily made his way down the hall and out the school doors, without so much as a goodbye.

“Wooowww,” Chloe said unimpressed. “Can you believe I dated him freshmen year?”

She turned to Jeremy, clearly looking for a response. Jeremy looked back at her nervously. Chloe Valentine was one of the hottest girls in school, and probably one of the most intimidating. So nervously, Jeremy let loose the first thoughts from his mind.

“I dunno, Jake’s a nice guy. I mean, I guess you might have been a bit hard teasing him about his crush on Rich.”

The was clearly the wrong response as Chloe’s face turned sour and she huffed. But before she could open her mouth Brooke cheerfully chimed in.

“So you admit he has a crush on Rich!” She said, grabbing Jeremy’s good arm in excitement. She looked up at Jeremy with an giant geeky smile and Jeremy felt the sweat on his neck returning.

“I mean, I dunno,” he shrugged. “I’ve only known them for a small time. And it's like, not really my place I guess.”

“That's a good point,” Brooke agreed, clearly just talking to be talking. “Say Jeremy, like you staying after school for something?”

Jeremy looked at her and Chloe nervously.

“Oh, no I just, missed the bus while finishing up a history quiz. I don't live too far away so I was just going to walk.”

“You don't want to walk,” Chloe said shaking her head. “You just got the shit beat out of you and last I check it was still raining pretty hard.”

“Oh,” Jeremy said stupidly. “I don't know, but like, I guess I could call my dad.”

“Just ride with us silly,” Brooke said excitedly. “Chloe got her permit earlier than everyone since her birthday is September 4th. So we can give you a ride!”

Jeremy looked bewildered between the two of them. The two coolest, hottest girls in his grade, offering to give him a ride? Was he dreaming? What was the world coming to?

“You don't have t-”

“It's no problem,” Chloe said, pulling out her keys and giving them a cool twirl. “C’mon Jerry, I’ll give you a ride. What’s your address..”

“It's uh, Jeremy,” Jeremy corrected quietly, shyly falling behind the two girls. He told them the address and watched as Brooke typed it into the Google Maps app on her phone. Clearly, neither of them had ever set foot in the more lower-middle class part of town.

 _Today really must be a dream,_ he thought as they made their way down the hallway. _I actually get classically beat up and bullied by a couple of popular jocks, and then the two hottest girls in my class offer me a ride home. I’m either dead, dreaming, or in a really bad teen movie._

Turns out, Chloe was right about the rain, which lead to a mad dash by the three of them to Chloe’s silver Lexus. As he was getting in the backseat, Jeremy finally realized what had been bothering him about getting in Chloe’s car.

“Wait, with a permit, you need to have your parent in the car with you!” He exclaimed, looking between Brooke and Chloe with shock. Chloe just rolled her eyes and turned on the car.

“Don't be such a square Jeremy, it's fine,” Chloe insisted as she began to back out. “It's not like my parents give a shit and as long as you have your seatbelt on and I don't go over the speed limit, the cops have no reason to pull us over.”

“Plus my dad’s a sergeant,” Brooke added as Jeremy hastily buckled his seatbelt and the car made its way out of the school parking lot. “I pretty much know every cop in town. If we get pulled over the most we’ll get is a warning and that will probably be because we have a boy in the backseat.”

Jeremy blushed at that and tried to hide the nervousness he was feeling and instead focus on the ache in his shoulder and stomach. That didn't help, so he opted to just looking out the window at the rain like an angsty loser.

“So, you know Rich and Jake from gay club?” Brooke asked, turning around from the front seat to face him as Chloe drove. Jeremy nervously thought about how much Alana hated when SAGA was called that.

“We uh, prefer just, like LGBT Club. Or SAGA.”

“Gotta hand it to Alana for picking out a pretty rad name for the gay club,” Chloe added with a offhand smile. She looked in the mirror, her eyes meeting Jeremy’s, and asked, “So you’re gay then?”

Jeremy tensed up at the question. Chloe immediately realized his discomfort and started to go off.

“No no! I mean. There is nothing wrong with being gay. And I don't have a problem with gay people. I love gay people! I mean I guess I can say Rich is kind of my friend. And Jake is well, I’m pretty sure he’s gay but he’s so insecure about it. So like, I was just asking because I was curious and all an-”

“LOOK OUT,” Jeremy shouted as Chloe began to slide into the other lane. She quickly jerked and swerved back into the correct lane mere seconds before another car came zooming past them. Jeremy took a deep breath, shaken but alive, as Chloe started to apologize again.

“Shit, sorry, sorry. I’m usually better at this and like, I know being gay can be a sensitive subject-”

“No, it's not that,” Jeremy said still catching his breath. “You’re fine just. You don't have to say all that. You’re clearly not like,” he tried to think of the names of the jocks from before. “Ram and Kit?”

“Kurt,” Brooke clarified, giving him a helping smile.

“Right, Kurt. But like, the subject of being gay is just weird for me, because I’m like, not too sure?”

Brooke gave him a funny look of confusion, which was mirrored in Chloe’s face, that Jeremy saw through the rear view mirror.

“How can you not be sure if you are gay or not?” Brooke asked clearly extremely confused.

“Well,” Jeremy bit his lip, trying to find the right words he had rehearsed for when people ask about his “sexual questioning.”

“It's like, sexuality isn't just black and white. You’re not just gay or straight. I mean, Rich is bisexual, which when you like both guys and girls, but there are countless other sexualities. And some are countless other sexualities and labels and stuff that aren't as common.” Jeremy looked up and saw that both girls were clearly hanging onto every word he said. So he nervously continued.

“For me, it's always been girls, but recently I’ve been noticing guys more? If that makes sense?”

“In the same way or differently than with girls?” Brooke asked, her eyes focused intensely on Jeremy.

“Kinda a bit of both,” Jeremy lied, trying to sound convincing. “It's different cause it's guys, but it's similar?”

“Is it sexual?”

“BROOKE!”

Everyone jerked forward as Chloe hit the brakes hard. Jeremy grabbed the seat cushion with his bad arm to keep himself from dying and felt a sting of pain.

“You can’t just ask people that kind of stuff!” Chloe snapped, her face red with embarrassment. Brooke was even more red as she sunk into her seat.

“Sorry, I was just curious,” she apologized quietly, not looking at Chloe or Jeremy. Jeremy felt, bad for her. It was clear she was curious, but Jeremy was far, far, far from an expert on matters of sexuality.

“I’m not the best at answering questions about stuff,” he did admit. “But if you are free and want to know more, you should try and come to our meeting this Thursday. Our President Alana is big on educating people properly about this kind of stuff and she’s been a real help. Rich is big on it too, but I don't know if you’d want his advice.”

Brooke and Chloe both let out small laughs when he said that, causing Jeremy to let out an awkward chuckle as well.

“Maybe I should,” Brooke said to herself as Chloe turned on Jeremy’s street. “I’ve always- It would be nice to know more about that stuff. Considering Jake and Rich and you and all.” She babbled out the last part and Jeremy got the strong implication that Brooke wanted to join for more than just to support her friends.

“You should,” Jeremy reaffirmed as Chloe pulled up to his house. He glanced at Chloe in the mirror and saw that her face was unreadable, completely emotionless and focused, staring ahead at the rain and the window wipers as if he and Brooke weren't there.

“Thanks for the ride Chloe,” Jeremy said trying to be polite as he gathered his things.

“Yeah,” Chloe said nonchalantly. “Whatever man.”

Jeremy bit his lip and glanced at Brooke, who was now looking away from both him and Chloe.

“See you guys later,” Jeremy said, very awkwardly, as he equally awkwardly stepped out of Chloe’s expensive car and out into the rain. He raced to his front door and before going inside gave one quick look behind him, only to find that Chloe’s car had already vanished into the rain.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry getting this out took longer than expected. I've been prepping to go back to school in a month and have just been busy busy busy busy being a young adult (hey!)
> 
> Shout out to @acasualmess on tumblr for helping to beta this chapter and the next.
> 
> Chapter 4 will be out as soon as I finish looking it over and also finish chapter 5. So hopefully in the next week or so.


	4. Take Note It's Not Impressive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into an average day in the life of Jeremy Heere. Oh, and a discovery is made.

After getting a ride home from Chloe and Brooke, Jeremy made his way into the kitchen to find an ice pack for his shoulder something to eat before starting on his homework. He managed to find an old bag of frozen peas and a half-eaten bag of Doritos that Michael brought over during one of their many afternoons playing video games and even though they may have just started going stale, they were still pretty good. He also checked to make sure there was something laid out for dinner and upon finding some frozen chicken breasts, marinara sauce, and spaghetti, decided to go with chicken marinara tonight.

Back before his mom left, he didn't have to worry about this. Even though she rarely cooked, his dad loved cooking for his family. They would all sit down together and his dad would make something really good and he would tell his parents about his day and they would talk and complain about theirs and things were good. They would go to Synagogue on Saturdays and go out to dinner and have movie nights and go on family vacations and celebrate the holidays together.

That all ended when his mom left two years ago. When his dad stopped acting like himself and started working from home and and stopped going to Synagogue and stopped caring about eating Kosher and stopped cooking and stopped wearing pants and stopped actually caring for Jeremy.

So yeah, chicken marinara.

He had left the chicken out to thaw and had started on his geometry homework, munching on Doritos and switching the peas between his shoulder and his stomach, when his phone started blowing up.

**Jake D:** dude sorry for bailing on u that was not cool of me u ok?

Jeremy wiped his fingers on his jeans before typing out a response.

**Player One:** it's fine man. Chloe and Brooke gave me a ride home so all good

Jeremy turned back to his homework for a second and then his phone exploded.

**Jake D:** cool cool. They say anything to u?

**BiBiBi:** DUDE JAKE TOLD ME YOU GOT BEAT UP BY TWO JOCKS AND THEN GOT LUCKY WITH CHLOE AND BROOKE I DEMAND DEETS NOW

**Player 2:** dude Rich just texted me that you got in a fight and then had a threesome? Wtf are u okay?

**Unknown:** hi Jeremy this is Jenna Roland is it true you had a threesome with Chloe Valentine and Brooke Lohst in Chloe’s car? And that you are in the hospital because Kurt Kelly and Ram Sweeney tried to kill you?

Jeremy audibly groaned, his face reddening at the texts. He did not need Rich and Jenna Roland of all people spreading rumors about today’s events.

**Player One → Unknown:** Jenna, how did you get my number? And no, none of that is true.

**Player One → Player 2:** dude no on the threesome, yes on the getting the shit beat out of me. I hate jocks and I hate this school.

**Player One → BiBiBi:** DUDE NO! There is no deets Chloe and Brooke just gave me a ride home after Jake scared away two asshats. Also why the hell did you tell Michael and Jenna Rolland this

**Player One → Jake D:** why the fuck is everyone texting me. Wth Jake?!

Jeremy groaned in agony, letting his head fall into his math book in despair. He already clearly had the GAY rumor following him, the last thing his remaining dignity and reputation needed was this.

Jenna Roland never replied, which was probably for the best, Jeremy thought. Jake sent him a quick apology, explaining that Rich was over his house right now and that Rich tends to take things way too far.  
Michael responded next.

**Player 2:** dude, who were they? I’ll fuck them up or something.

Jeremy smiled and blushed at the thought of Michael trying to take on the two football players.

**Player One:** lol my hero.

**Player One:** but seriously dude, don't. They were huge homophobic varsity football Jocks. Kurt and Ram something? I don't know Jake and Chloe knew them though

**Player 2:** Kurt Kelly and Ram Sweeney? Dude fuck them. Did you hear about their dads?

Jeremy remembered Chloe mentioning them in an insult but, he couldn't recall what she had said.

**Player One:** no not really?

**Player 2:** dude they are like, pretty rich business men. Classic male stereotypes but best friends since high school and stuff and they were both married. But then like 2 years ago when gay marriage became legal shit started getting weird and eventually, both of them divorced their wives, bought a house, and moved in together. Turns out they’re both gay and have been having an affair with each other since high school, but they hid it under a fuck ton of homophobia. They’re getting married this year, but I guess Kurt and Ram still are homophobic pieces of shit, especially since the two divorces and all.

Oh wow, Jeremy thought, thinking back to what Ram and Kurt had said to him. He wanted to be happy with the fact that their dads were happy and gay now, but it was clear what they had done had fucked up their sons.

**Player One:** dude that's fucked up

**Player 2:** ikr! but no seriously r u ok?

Jeremy sighed and smiled at Michael’s concern.

**Player One:** I'm okay. My arms probably bruised and my stomach and my back, but otherwise, I’m okay. Got a bag of peas helping me out

**Player 2:** dude that sucks. I’m sorry. I wish I had been there

Jeremy felt his insides begin to warm at Michael’s words. The world could turn against Jeremy, but Michael would always have his back and be the best best friend, no matter what school and the world threw at them.

**Player One:** not your fault, and you would have gotten a pounding too

**Player 2:** still, u sure u r okay

Jeremy sighed, sometimes Michael could be a little too doting.

**Player One:** dude I’m good I swear. Trying to do math

**Player 2:** ew fuck math

And with that they fell back into their usual conversation. Jeremy finished his math homework and had started on his English reading when five o’clock hit. Like clockwork he got up and started on the chicken parmesan. Just as he was finishing up, his dad finally emerged from his office, wearing the same t shirt Jeremy had seen him in yesterday and a pair of white and black underwear.

“Smells good son,” his dad said cheerily, taking a seat at the table.

“Dad,” Jeremy said, tired, sore, and definitely not in the mood to deal with this. He had removed the frozen peas from his shoulder when they started to melt, but he was till sore and could see bruises forming. “Please, can you put on some pants when at the table?”

His dad gave him a playful smile.

“Why? We’re both men here! Nothing wrong with relaxing and wearing what you want when you’re alone in your own home."

Jeremy sighed, his brow furrowing and tightening. He made himself a plate, grabbed a soda from the fridge and made his way past his father and out of the kitchen. He could not stand to deal with his dad on a good day, he definitely could not stand today.

“You going to eat in your room again?” He heard his dad ask from behind him.

“Yes,” Jeremy said without any feeling in his voice. “I have homework.”

“Well alrighty then!” Mr. Heere replied enthusiastically. “Keep up the good work son.”

“Thanks,” grumbled Jeremy, halfway out of the kitchen and down the hall. He stat in his room, picking at his chicken parm and waiting for Michael to get done dinner so they could text again, when his phone lit up with a text from Rich.

**BiBiBi:** so jake says I have to say im sorry for tryin to get the dirt on your sex life

**BiBiBi:** actually im not sorry, because your sex life is hysterical dude holy shit

Jeremy groaned loudly through a mouthful of chicken and noodles. His teen angst attitude did not need Rich right now.

**Player One:** you’re one to talk

**BiBiBi:** ???

**Player One:** Chloe mentioned something about you and Jake being together

_Okay, maybe that's a bit mean_ , Jeremy thought as he sent the text. _But Rich needs learn to stop making other people’s business his own._

**BiBiBi:** dude, not cool. it's not like that

**Player One:** oh? I remember someone maybe mentioning your crush on him…

**BiBiBi:** oh like your gay crush on Michael

_Wait._

_What?_

Gay crush on Michael? Since when did he have a gay crush on Michael? Michael was his best friend! Sure Michael was smart and nice and always there for Jeremy and always found a way to make Jeremy happy and maybe he was actually pretty handsome and nice to look at and whenever he smiled Jeremy’s whole day would light up, but Jeremy was not gay for Michael. Jeremy actually was not gay at all!

But Rich didn't know that. No one knew that. Everyone thought Jeremy was “questioning.”

_He god what have I done,_ Jeremy thought as he was hit with the sudden realization that Rich thought his gay awakening was Michael.

**Player One:** trust me, I don't like Michael like that

**BiBiBi:** really cause he sure does have a thing for you

_WAIT WHAT?_

**Player One:** what? No he doesn't!

**BiBiBi:** pretty sure he does. Dudes the gayest person I’ve ever met. Don't u see the way he looks at you?

Jeremy honestly hadn’t. Besides Michael didn’t- he was gay, but he and Jeremy were just friends. Michael was just his friend and Jeremy was straight and-

Was he straight?

Jeremy froze for a second, actually, seriously, contemplating the question for the first time in his life. For as long as he could remember, he had been into girls. He had crushes on girls, he wanted to kiss girls and hold their hands. But then there were the unexplained things he felt around guys, the things he brushed off as nervousness and just feelings of friendship. How nervous he felt looking at other men’s bodies in the locker room, but the fact that he still wanted to look. All the times he got uneasy when one of the more attractive and popular guys brushed passed him in the hall. How much he enjoyed when he Michael would take his hand or lean up against him or hug him. All the times he caught himself staring st Michael when he talked, how much he loved Michael’s smile. Even the few times when Michael would stay over that Jeremy would just sit there, staring at Michael’s sleeping face in the darkness.

_Shit. Holy shit._

_I'm actually gay._

**Player One:** oh shit

**BiBiBi:** what? U ok dude?

Jeremy stared at the screen, hands shaking, as he typed.

**Player One:** I’m not straight

**BiBiBi:** yeah, I know that dumbass

**BiBiBi:** oh wait you’re having The MOMENT! Oh my god how am I not there I need to see your face right now

_Fuck you,_ Jeremy thought, eyes narrowing at his phone. He was still panicking inside, still freaking about the fact that all the lies he had been saying, were actually maybe true.

**Player One** : fuck u. What do I do?

**BiBiBi:** #rude. And dude, you have to tell him!

**Player One:** who

**BiBiBi:** MICHAEL! TELL HIM U R GAY FOR HIM!

_Oh sure_ , Jeremy thought sarcastically. _Hey Michael, so I was lying to you about being maybe gay, or I guess bisexual to try and win Christine over but now I realize I actually am bisexual and I am kind of having a gay crisis about you because I suddenly want to kiss you. Yeah, that will go over great!_

**Player One:** no way, that is the last thing I want to do

**BiBiBi:** dude seriously u gotta

Jeremy scowled at his phone in defiance.

**Player One:** oh, like you gotta tell Jake.

Rich took a minute to reply, and Jeremy waited patiently and bitterly for his response

**BiBiBi** : I know he’s not into me Jeremy. He’s just always been my best friend and I don't want to risk things getting awkward between us

Jeremy sighed at Rich’s plight and then remembered how Jake had reacted to Ram and Kurt and Chloe.

**Player One:** he nearly fought ram and Kurt when they mentioned you, and he got super embarrassed and stormed off when Chloe brought u up

**Player One:** doesn't seem like just friends to me

Jeremy waited, but Rich never replied to Jeremy’s text, and eventually Jeremy finished his food and began to try and work on the rest of his homework. But his thoughts kept wandering back to Michael.

He might just be confused, that was it. All this talk of gayness had him confused. Rich was just messing with his head. He couldn't possibly be bisexual, or gay or whatever. He in no way was attracted to Michael like that.

Yet even as he said that, his mind wandered to Michael. Michael’s body pressed against his, his larger frame taking in all of Jeremy. Michael always seemed to be warmer than Jeremy, who got cold surprisingly easy, and Jeremy couldn't help but think about how nice that heat would up against him. How nice that would feel. How much Jeremy enjoyed just being around Michael, how happy that made him. How Michael seemed to make everything better, something none of his new friends have even begun to achieve.

“Shit,” Jeremy muttered aloud falling back to his bed, his hands covering his face. And then there was the whole other topic of what Rich had said, that Michael liked Jeremy as more than a friend. That certainly couldn't be true. Rich clearly had some fantasy about him and Michael screwing, and was trying to push that agenda on him. Michael was his friend, his gay best friend, and Jeremy was bisexual.

_Oh_ , he realized, everything coming together at once.

_I’m bisexual._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY JEREMY FINALLY CAME TO TERMS WITH HIS SEXUALITY (or so it seems...) trust me it's going to be a while until he actually figures everything out and acts on it.  
> Also, quick note, I am not Jewish and I don't really know any Jewish people, so if anyone reading this fanfic has any tips on how I can portray Jeremy (and Jared when he appears) as Jewish accurately please message me. I could use any help, suggestions, or critique :)  
> My apologizes for the delay. I'm heading back to college this weekend and life has been going crazy.  
> Anyway, chapter 5 is written and being beta'd so I will have that up on Friday or Saturday, I swear, because I am very proud of that chapter.


	5. Blessed be the Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several people come out and the gang get high in Michael's basement.

“I’m bisexual.”

Jeremy swore he had never heard anyone scream as loud as Rich did in his entire life. He watched with a weird sense of joy as Rich leapt out of his desk and made a dash towards Brooke Lohst, who was seated between Christine and Chloe in their sharing circle. The two of them had decided to show up to this week's meeting like Jeremy had suggested and Brooke had decided the next best thing to do was to come out to everyone.

“DUDE THIS IS AMAZING! YASS! JOIN ME AND JEREMY IN THE BI CLUB!”

“Woah wait,” Michael interrupted, looking between Rich and Jeremy with a face full of shock. “You figured it out?!”

Jeremy shrugged and blushed deeply, not wanting to look too closely at Michael’s brilliant shocked smile.

“Uh yeah, I figured it out. I’m bi too.”

Michael leaned over and pulled Jeremy into a tight hug as Rich started jumping up and down, one arm still wrapped around Brooke, chanting “BI CLUB! BI CLUB! BI CLUB! BI CLUB!”

“Dude that’s amazing!” Michael shouted ecstatically. “This is huge! We gotta celebrate this!”

“We really don’t,” Jeremy suggested quietly and bashfully. Celebrations with Michael often included getting high in Michael’s basement, playing video games and borderline cuddling while blowing smoke in each other's faces. And with his internal crisis about possibly liking Michael going on, Jeremy did not need to get high alone with Michael right now.

“Dude c’mon!” Michael whined. “I just got some good stuff from my hook up and we haven't gotten high in my basement forever.”

“Dude, I want to get high in Michael’s basement,” Rich smiled, giving Jeremy a devious smirk and wiggling his eyebrows. Jeremy tried not to die a little inside. “Sounds like fun. Oh and also Jake and I are dating.”

Chloe, who had picked the opportune moment to take a sip of her water, did a spit take and started choking and coughing. Christine let out a gallant cheer and gave Rich a fist on the shoulder as both Rich and Jake looked at each other and took one another’s hands. Alana dropped her head into her desk as Christine look back and smirked at her.

“Ten dollars,” she sing-songed, stretching her palm out to Alana, who began fishing through her backpack.

“Remind me to never bet against you again Calligula,” Alana cursed, forking over a ten dollar bill.

“Rude,” Jake said shaking his head in disappointment as Christine sung something about Alexander Hamilton under her breath. “You guys bet on when we were going to get together?”

Alana looked at Jake and Rich with a knowing smile.

“Oh don't be so hypocritical,” she joked. “We got the idea from you Rich.”

Rich opened his mouth to say something and then shut it immediately. Jeremy saw Rich eyes dart towards him and Michael, who had broke off his hug but was still beaming, and then dart away.

“I’m happy for you guys,” Jeremy said, trying not to think about the look Rich gave him. “I told you he liked you Rich.”

Rich rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, Jeremy is the one who got us together. I’m sure if this lasts or something I’ll thank him at the wedding for telling me to grow a pair.”

Both Jeremy and Jake blushed a little at that thought.

“Wedding huh,” Jake said rather stupidly, his ears tinged red. “How about we just, work out the basics and focus on the biology test we have next week?”

“So what do you identify as Jake,” Alana asked curiously and then quickly added, “If that is okay of course, you don't have to say if you are not comfortable.”

“Nah it's cool Alana,” Jake said smiling and leaning back in his desk as Rich sat back down next to him. “I’m pansexual.”

“Whatsexual?” Chloe explained, a look of horror on her face.

“I’m not attracted to cookware Chloe,” Jake snapped, shooting Chloe a dirty look. “It means I am attracted to people regardless of their gender identity. I fall for a person, not their genitals.”

“Huh,” Brooke said, looking at Jake with a contemplating expression. “I think that fits me a little bit better, maybe.”

Rich let out a wailing “Noooooo,” and slumped against his desk.

“Well there goes the bi club,” Michael chuckled, amused.  “What about you Chloe? You bi too?”

Chloe shook her head. “Nope, I’m straight. I’m just here to support Brooke, as like, a friend and an ally.”

She looked at Alana questioningly.

“Allies and friends are welcome right?”

“Of course!” Alana said with a smile. “Just, do realize that as a cisgendered heterosexual person-”

“And a white person,” Jeremy heard Michael add under his breath.

“-you have certain privileges that LGBT people do not have. You probably also will never truly understand what it means to be LGBT, and the more you accept that the easier it is to truly support Brooke and everyone here.”

Jeremy thought for a second that Chloe was about to throw one of her famous bitchy remarks at Alana with the glare she was giving. There was a moment of tension in the room, before Chloe finally just shrugged nonchalantly.

“Whatever, I’m here for Brooke and that’s what matters.”

Alana smiled and adjusted the papers in front of her.

“Alright does anyone else have any big announcements regarding their lives they would like to share before we start today’s discussion?”

Christine raised her hand, waving it excitably until Alana noticed and signaled for her to speak.

“I came out to my parents this week.”

“Wait really?” Jeremy said shocked, looking at her in awe and surprise. “You came out to them as asexual and aromantic? What did they say?”

Christine looked away her face dropping losing some of its excitement.

“Well, my mom sat me down, I guess I never had “the talk” with her so she decided now was the best time. And I just, really, really get grossed out by like, actual sex talk-”

“Girl it was your mom,” Chloe interrupted. “When anyone’s mom starts talking about sex they get weirded out.”

“It's different for me,” Christine replied. “I’m asexual, and I’m actually kinda sex repulsed. I can usually handle sex jokes and stuff with friends, but actual talking about sex or experiencing sexual stuff, makes me very, very uncomfortable.”

_She can never know,_ Jeremy vowed to himself, thinking about his former, and rather sexually charged, infatuation with Christine. Since he had joined SAGA, Christine had become one of his closest friends, and he didn't want to lose her just because he used to like her in a much deeper way. He stole a glance at Michael, who met his gaze and lifted an eyebrow, as if to say, “Wow you had no chance” and “don't worry, your terrible secret is safe with me.”

Chloe had said nothing to Christine’s response, just sat in her chair a little bit indignantly. Jeremy saw Jake sigh and whisper something to Rich who scowled. His focus then turned back to Christine, who had continued talking.

“So when my mom started getting, into it, I started to freak out and I kinda blurted out that I already knew about sex and that I never wanted to have it. That got her confused and I had to explain to her what I meant, and that I wasn't just being a teenager or trying to shut her up. We had to go through a lot of websites, but I think she understands a little.”

“That's amazing Christine,” Alana cheered, smiling ear to ear. “I think I speak for everyone when I say how proud I am of you and how glad I am that it turned out okay.”

Everyone let nodded and said a few “yeahs,” and “sames” in agreement.

“What about your dad?” Rich asked rather unsure, his eyes focused on Christine. She shrugged and looked away.

“He doesn't really do the sexuality and feelings junk, so he doesn't know. I figure he wouldn't care so long as I get good grades and am happy, but I don't really want to talk to him about it to be honest.”

“That’s okay,” Alana quickly reassured, placing a hand on Christine's shoulder. “Everyone comes out in their own time and you should only come out if you feel the need to. If you don't feel like sharing your sexuality with someone, there is no one telling you you have to.”

Everyone again nodded and agreed with the that. Jeremy had noticed over the past couple of meetings that Alana tended to take the lead role when it came to discussions of sexuality and gender, which he didn't mind because Alana was very good with her words and knew a lot about the subject. Still, as he looked around the room, he could see Christine’s story had caused a bit of tension in the room. Rich was looking down at his knees with a blank stare and Jeremy noticed that he had let go of Jake’s hand. Brooke fidgeted nervously in her seat. Jeremy stole a glance at Michael and saw that, once again, Michael was looking at him. He quickly turned away, trying to force away any thoughts of Michael that creeped into his mind and instead turn his attention back to Alana.

“Well with that,” Alana continued, adjusting her glasses and her usual pile of papers. “Today I felt we could talk about-

* * *

 

“And don’t forget,” Alana announced loudly as everyone began exiting the classroom at 4 o’clock.“Miss Fleming is dropping by next week to observe us and see how things are coming along!”

Jeremy and Michael filed out of classroom together and began making their way down the hall when Rich came bounding up to them, Jake walking behind him, chill as always.

“So Michael when are we getting stoned in your basement?”

“What?” Jeremy asked confused, looking between Michael and Rich.

“I was thinking just after school today,” Michael answered, ignoring Jeremy completely. “My parents work really late, like usually they don't get home until at least 10, so we’re usually safe until then.”

“Fucking sweet,” Rich cheered fist bumping the air.  “How far of a walk is it to your house again? Ten minutes? I’ll count that as my work out for today.”

Jake shook his head at his boyfriend’s comment.

“You’d have to run the whole way for it to be on par with what your wrestling coach wants you to do.”

Rich scoffed, rolling his eyes.  “I've still got like, a month at least until I have to worry about Coach Phil getting on my back about that. Let me smoke weed and be lazy while I still can, babe.”

Jake blushed but kept smiling goofily at Rich.  “Babe?”

“We’re dating now, baby, I can call you that.”

Jeremy glanced at Michael who feigned gagging. He couldn't help but laugh slightly at Michael’s face.

“Alright if we’re doing this we better get going,” Michael rolled his eyes and began walking. “And please keep the PDA to a minimum.”

The entire walk the Rich and Jake purposefully made gross comments and held hands and even at one point stopped walking and started making out against a tree, just to make Michael and Jeremy feel very uncomfortable.

Part of the reason why Jeremy and Michael had become friends when they were little was because they did not live that far apart. Michael’s house was about four and a half blocks from Jeremy’s, which meant they were a bike ride or a long walk away from one another. The high school they attended wasn’t too far away either, but walking to school in the mornings was not an enjoyable activity. 

After about fifteen minutes of walking and tolerating Jake and Rich, the boys arrived at Michael’s place. It was slightly smaller than Jeremy’s house, but it was clearly more well loved and homey.

“Dude, we could totally throw a mad party here,” Jake said as they walked through the door.

“Not too big of course, but damn your pad is sweet bro.”

“It’s alright,” Michael shrugged, making his way down to the basement. Jeremy quickly followed behind him while Rich and Jake took their time, taking in Michael’s house. 

Jeremy had practically grown up in Michael’s house, or to be specific Michael’s basement. Most of the house upstairs was kept neat and presentable, but the basement was always free for Michael and his three older siblings to use. Or, well, trash. When Jeremy’s parents started fighting, Michael’s basement became his escape. He’d spend nights and sometimes even weekends here, playing video games and watching movies with Michael, laughing and joking and smiling away all the sadness and pain the world upstairs was causing him. In recent years they had taken to drinking and smoking down in the basement as well, warm and giddy from the high and the comfort of being around the one person in the world who understood.

As the warm thoughts flooded Jeremy’s mind, Rich and Jake began to make their way downstairs.

“Sweet,” Jake grinned as he and Rich shoved past Jeremy and raced to the bottom of the basement. The warmth in Jeremy’s heart faded and he had the strong desire to yell at Jake and Rich. This place was special to him, too many precious memories and emotional baggage. Jake and Rich were intruders with no respect for this place.

He must have been staring at Jake and Rich, because he jumped slightly when he noticed Michael staring at Jeremy from the corner of his eye. Michael gave Jeremy a knowing eye roll that caused Jeremy’s face to heat up, and then made his way over to the couch and assortment of bean bags that were crowded around the TV stand. 

“Snacks are in closet behind you,” Michael said absently, fishing for something under the couch. “You can only drink the sodas that are in the green fridge. The red one has my personal stuff in it and I will charge you for whatever you drink. And some of that shit cost me like, over a hundred bucks. If you want any alcohol there are a couple of beers behind the green cooler but they aren’t cold.”

“Fucking sweet,” Rich cheered, rushing over to the closet and pulling out a bag of doritos, a bag of cheetos, and a large tube of pringles. “You guys want anything?”

“I’ll have a beer,” Jake called plopping down on the nearest beanbag and letting out a deep sigh. Jeremy sat down on the bean bag next to him, smiling slightly as Michael cursed under his breath and continued to struggle with the couch.

“I’ll just have water for now.”

“EUREKA!” Michael cheered, returning from the depths of the couch, clutching a rainbow pipe, a lighter, and a small plastic bag. He raised the bag proudly over his head showing off the couple ounces of pot nestled in the bottom.

“Alright boys, let’s get fucking baked.”

* * *

 

Jeremy doesn't remember when Michael ended up putting on one of those Blue Planet documentaries, but fuck fish were cool. What was really funny was how much Rich was fascinated by the fish, considering how Rich and Michael had argued over what Netflix special to put on for like 10 minutes.

They had passed the bowl around, each taking turns taking hits, until they were all as high as kite, except Rich, who had achieved lift off. Rich clearly got way too high for a guy his size and was draped over Jake, slurring his words like a drunk. His lisp, which he usually tried to cover up, was so pronounced Jeremy was having a hard time understanding what he was saying. Michael and Jeremy were both sharing the couch, each laying against an arm rest, their legs intertwined, which was not unusual as both boys tended to get clingy when they were high, but Jeremy’s newfound and confusing feelings towards Michael made him feel a little uncomfortable. 

“Thith ith fucking beautiful,” Rich kept saying at every animal that showed up on screen.

“Thith ith tho fucking beautiful.”

“Yeah man,” Jake agreed, not taking his eyes off of Rich and running his hands through his boyfriend’s hair. “Fucking beautiful.”

Michael at one point had gotten bored of the documentary and was currently blowing smoke rings at Rich and Jake or into Jeremy’s face. Jeremy could never figure out how the hell to do smoke rings, but Michael was a fucking expert.

“It's all in the tongue,” Michael would always joke and then make an obscene gesture, which was even funnier now considering how gay Michael was.

The documentary moved onto arctic animals and Rich nearly jumped out of his seat when the old British guy started talking about penguins.

“I LOVE PENGUINTH!” Rich shouted, earning a laugh out of everyone, as Jake pulled Rich back down onto his lap.

“Jake, babe, penguinth.”

“I know, I know.” Jeremy wanted to gag at the look Jake was giving Rich.

“Bruh penguins are dope,” Michael chimed in, blowing another smoke ring at Jeremy.

“They found that gay penguins in zoos will like take care of eggs and be dads and stuff and it's fucking adorable.”

“Thatth gay,” Rich chuckled, very stoned.

“You’re tho gay. I alwayth knew you were tho gay.”

“Really cause I had no clue,” Jeremy said, maybe a little more dryly than he meant to.

“REALLY? ITTH THO OBVIOUTH-obviouth-obvi”

“Obvious,” Jake supplemented, his face half buried in Rich’s shoulder and back.

“Yeth that. Like Michael, you got that gay vibe. Gay nerdy hipthter vibe.”

“I never tried to hide it,” Michael said, putting the bowl down and looking at Jeremy.  “You just are really oblivious man.”

“I am not,” Jeremy argued, his face heating up as Michael’s legs rubbed against his own.

“Are too,” Michael laughed. “Dude like, my own folks know I’m gay and I never had to say anything. And they are hardly ever around.”

That was news to Jeremy. He knew Michael’s parents supported him and his interests no matter what, but he never realized they would recognize that Michael was gay. Did everyone know Michael was gay before he did? Was he really that blind?

“How do they know?” Jake asked, his voice sounding borderline bored. Michael shrugged.

“I guess never really talked about girls like my brother did. And if I remember correctly, when I was little I used to like, tell my mother what boys on the playground I was going to marry someday. When it came time for my dad to give me ‘the Talk’ he kinda worded it vaguely like ‘when you have sex, whoever it is with, make sure you use protection. Because STDs are deadly, blah blah blah.’”

“I mean he’s not wrong,” Jake joked throwing Michael a sympathetic but light hearted smile. Michael squirmed a little next to Jeremy. Their legs kept brushing against each other and Jeremy had the small desire than he should pull away from Michael and run. But that would be too weird, cause too much of a scene, so he stuck it out.

“Yeah just, I think he had a friend or cousin or someone close to him that he lost to AIDS, cause he always freaks out about that,” Michael continued.  “And I think he knows how hard being gay is going to be for me.”

“That’th fucked up,” Rich agreed.  “Being gay ith tho fucking thcary. Fuck uth.”

Michael nodded in agreement, though Jeremy wasn't sure if he even registered what Rich said, and stared down at his and Jeremy’s feet. Jeremy looked at him, really looked at Michael. How Michael’s hoodie bundled up around him like a blanket, a red quilt of nerdy patches. How his hands fidgeted slightly with the drawstrings. How he was smiling slightly, but his eyes, red and lazy, weren’t smiling along. 

Make him smile, Jeremy’s head seemed to tell him. Hesitantly, he shifted and turned in his seat until he was nestled between Michael’s legs. They had never had a problem with physical contact, but with Rich and Jake here and with everything else, Jeremy couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed. Michael jumped a little, surprised by the sudden human contact, but quickly caught Jeremy looking up at him from between his legs and smiled at him, really smiled.

Jake coughed after taking a hit, causing the tender gay moment to end. 

“My parents aren't around that much either,” Jake admitted, his eyes fixed on the tv as he grabbed the bowl and took another hit.  “But my agent Roberta has met Rich before and she uh, she knows we're together now.”

Rich snorted as Jake’s face went a little red.

“Oh thhe knowth,” Rich smirked, elbowing his boyfriend in the ribs.

“I don't want to know,” Michael rolled his eyes, as he began running one hand through Jeremy’s hair. Michael’s hand in his hair felt nice, warm and nice and good, and Jeremy sank into the seat, the weed helping to ward off any anxiety.

Rich shifted in the bean bag against Jake.

“My dad, he maketh it pretty fucking clear what hith opinion of- of gay people ith.”

The humor in the room seemed to disappear as Rich’s voice lost its humoring tone.

“He doethn't actually know but he’th a fucking piethe of thit either way. I don't know if my mom knowth or thnot, but I'm not going to rithk telling her anytime thoon. The only perthon who knowth ith my older brother Elliot. He’th not exactly thuportive but he hathn’t told anyone, tho that’th good.”

“That sucks man,” Jeremy said sympathetically. He always figured Rich had problems at home. He seemed like one of those kids. But now that Rich was his friend, it really hit home how rough Rich had it.

“It’th okay,” Rich shrugged trying to brush it off as he stole a hit from Jake.  “I mean, I can handle it. Elliott left a year ago becauthe he couldn't take it. But I can’t leave mom alone to deal with my dad. Thhe doethn’t detherve that.” 

Rich slumped against Jake, turning back to the chips he had gathered and documentary. Jeremy thought about his own dad and what he would think of Jeremy’s recent realizations. He and his dad never talked much about stuff like that, not that they talked that much nowadays anyway. He couldn't just go up to his dad and ask him for advice on how to be bisexual or talking to boys, specifically Michael. His dad was so awkward already and bringing up his feelings about Michael, or anyone for that matter, would not be a good idea. 

He liked Michael, Jeremy knew that much, maybe as more than a friend. Or maybe he was just getting mixed up now that he had started figuring out his sexuality. Maybe he was just faking it all, like he had in the beginning, but now he was caught up in the lie. Or maybe it was real, and Jeremy was going to ruin everything because of stupid feelings.

The four of them watched in silence as a penguin got eaten by a seal. 

Jeremy reached over and took another hit, desperate to drown out his anxieties and worries. He was certain of one thing, getting high and watching documentaries with Michael, Rich, and Jake, felt really, really good.

The old British man chimed on and on about seals and the circle of life as the air around them hung thick with the scent of pot. Michael’s warmth radiating all over Jeremy, his fingers unmoving in Jeremy’s hair.

All Jeremy could think was that yeah, being gay was fucking scary.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: hey I'll actually get a chapter upload on time like I promised.  
> My dad: Hey we are moving you into your new house two days early.  
> Me: FFFFFUUUUCCCCCC-
> 
> So yeah, two days late, but here's the chapter where everyone is gay and high in Michael's basement. I'm not making anymore promises on chapter updates because classes are starting again, but I will get chapter 6 out as soon as I can (mainly because some DEH and Heathers characters start showing up).

**Author's Note:**

> Hi so this is my first fanfic in a LOOOOONNNGGG time. I basically wanted to write a crossover au where everyone is friends, gay, and alive, and i decided to throw them all in an LGBT club because high school LGBT club culture is a magical journey all its own.
> 
> So please leave a comment and a kudos if you liked what I have so far.
> 
> Shout out to my amazing beta http://rhode-trip.tumblr.com/
> 
> Also follow me on tumblr if you want to talk musicals and stuff https://crabbiekat.tumblr.com/


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